More Repulsive Ways to Accessorize Our Vags: Feathers & Fur

What's with women wanting to decorate their vaginas?  Isn't lingerie enough?  I thought Vajazzling was tacky, yet hysterical, then there was Vatooing and now people are actually accessorizing them with feathers and fur.  No lie.  They're getting waxed and then adding hair from a different beast.  Can someone explain the reasoning behind this to me please?  Introducing the latest craze: the Fox Fur and Feather Merkin Bikinis. Completely Bare Salon in NYC owned by Real Housewife of NY, Cindy Barshop is offering both treatments.  The Fox Fur Bikini uses real fox fur, which is applied to the bikini line after a wax and lasts three days.  As you can imagine, Peta is outraged.  Imagine... "My coat is faux fur, but my pubes aren't."  I can't even!

Then, there's the Carnivale Bikini, which uses "trendy feathers in a variety of hot colors" to decorate your crotch.  Who do these types of treatments attract?  I remember when Vajazzling was a thing Peenazzling came shortly after, which can only make me think.

Here's a video of Cindy Barshop of Completely Bare explaining both treatments.  Sexy or not?  You decide.

It's Almost Bikini Season! Tips on How to Get Ready

Now that the Holidays are over, the first thing I think about is getting a new bikini. This season I had my share of cookies and a slice of cheese cake; so I am already dreading slipping it on. Have no fear, because I'm going to make bikini season a little easier for you this year. So get ready to show some skin and gain bikini confidence. Who knows maybe this year you’ll be ready to try a smaller suit. But before we start I am giving you permission to have one more cookie! The Body:

We may not have a superhuman body like Heidi Klum, but with a few fun exercises we can tone up and have fun too! My favorite workout that I recently just got back into is hoola-hooping. Hooping tones your abs, which is the first place I look at when I try on a new bikini. The benefits are amazing and can burn up to 600 calories in one hour with little to no impact on your joints! Try Hoopnotica, which has weighted hoops and workout videos, they are so much fun you’ll stop watching the clock.

Hair Removal:

A bikini wax is a must for that teeny-tiny-bikini! And for those with super sensitive skin like mine, check out Completely Bare Salons, which offer an exclusive Relax Wax that starts with numbing cream.

Tan:

Of course I'm going to encourage all of you to fake it (your tan, of course!)  Self-tanner comes to the rescue! Remember the golden rule, always exfoliate first. Exfoliating will remove dead skin cells, which will give you a more even glow.  I recently discovered Beautisol self tanner and they have a shade called All Seasons Glow, which is a gradual to medium self tanning lotion that builds over time and looks very natural.

Spray Yourself Tan This Fall

Summer may be over, but your tan doesn’t have to leave with it. I got a few easy tips from Cindy Barshop, owner of Completely Bare Salons, on how to get a great DIY spray tan. First of all, the Completely Bare spray tan is no joke.  Not only have they mastered the spray tan, but you can even get a "sculpted tan," which can hide any imperfection you may have, or “sculpt” thinner thighs or abs.  What girl wouldn’t want that?  For at-home, I recommend trying to get an even, all around glow.  Leave the sculpting to the pros!

Rule Number One: Preperation

Before you even open the self-tanner bottle, make sure that you shave your legs, and exfoliate your entire body and don't moisturize. Cindy also recommends using Earth Therapeutic Hydro Gloves in Jade to prevent the tanner from getting on your hands.

Rule Number Two: Spray Away, Carefully

Next, use a self tan like Completely Bare Model Tan on your body, (not your face) and spray it in a circular motion. The circular motion will give your tan a more natural look.

Rule Number Three: Take Time on Delicate Areas

Save your knees and elbows for last. To make those areas look natural add a tiny drop of moisturizer to your self-tanner and make sure your knees and elbows are bent when applying. This will bring down the level of intensity for the tan and give an overall natural look.  On your face Cindy recommends using Jergens Natural Glow for Face. Make sure to apply up to your hair line and down to your neck.

Rule Number Four: Post Spray Care

Use a hair dryer on cold to avoid humanity which makes you sweat and your tan fade, and to make sure you're completely dry.  Avoid wearing tight clothing and don't shower for about 12 hours.